[2003-02-08]

Predictions

Information

This world is a fantastic place, largly ruled by this incredibly illogical, calculating, feeling, pathetic hairy 'ape' of a species we like to call humans.

For a very long time humans have relied on faith, dogma and good old 'argument from authority' to make decisions in life. Prophets have predicted the return of kings, the fall of empires, the rise of evil and the end of the world as we know it. So far, their record of success isn't terribly impressive.

What better queue could one want? I will dedicate this page to making fantastic (and some not-so fantastic) predictions about the future. Some will be more serious than others, some will even be <gasp> infalsifiable :-)

Of course the method I use to come to these great insights is..er.. proprietary, but I'll try and give a few reasons for my predictions, which is more than most prophets do! See? I'm already giving you that added value you know you want! Soon you'll wonder how the hell you ever lived your life without access to my great insights, and the answer to that is pretty self evident, don't you think?

Without further ado, I welcome you the the fantastic world of...

Eddy the Prophet

Beware of false prophets! There is only one Real True Eddy the Prophet. Don't let the false teachings of other prophets infect your precious mind, only Eddy the Prophet can guarantee your sadistfaction. Listening to unauthorized prophets (ie, anyone but me) will result in your life generally sucking, especially your after-life which will be spent as a horny male leaf-frog in the land of equally horny Cindy Crawford clones. Do you want to gamble your afterlife? I thought not.

Prediction: In the future television will, I hope, provide different "overlays" which can be enable by the viewer via the remote to provide more information on-screen (or in audio). For instance, we can picture an overlay which floats over each character his name, or the name of the actor, or why not information on where the scene was filmed? In short, layers provide meta-data about what you see and hear.

I've hoped for this a long time now (tele-text is an obvious inspiration). It is unfortunate that the movie industry is so averse to change, unless it's a change to restrict the usage of their product.

Made at: 2003-02-08
Comment: Maybe it's been done already, patent-search is such a drag.
Prediction: In the future synthesis of speech (sound) and visual appearance from actors/performers -- dead or alive -- will be so simple that you can make anyone for whom you have a small set of source data say and do anything "on screen" as it were.

The result? A lot more wealthy lawyers.

The music and movie industries will of course lay claim to every dead performer who ever lived. They will try to have to cookie and eat it too, making sure that they totally own the voice, appearance and mannerism of their performers, while everyone else is in the public domain and up for grabs for those easy extras.

The technology itself will make patent-lawyers smile all day long. We'll see patents on everything from order-n markov models to general "if you can model this, then we own it". I'm sure there's a new business <cough>RAMBUS<cough> model in there too, somewhere.

Like anything, this new technology can be used for bad and evil, and the US government and the EU (led by the MPAA/RIAA) will make sure use "consumers" are "protected" from the bad things. The new updated "DMCA" will make sure that "rogue software" capable of such modelling will be hunted down and the programmers prosecuted. DRM technology will need to be updated with a new bit for "may model" inserted in some header somewhere.

See, this will change the world. No more "seeing is believing" -- you just can't fully trust anything you see. Not that you can today, but this will really drive the point home. Maybe that is a good thing, I don't know.

You thought "Best Of" CDs and colourized movies were bad?

Made at: 2002-05-14
Current status: Just a few years off now (5-10 maybe)

Prediction: Someone will patent the idea of capturing data from a live camera/video-source and use that, live, in a computer game. For instance, picture a Quake-clone which records your face as you play and "projects" it onto your alter-ego in the gaming world.
Made at: 2000-09-20
Current status: Pending
Comment: Maybe it's been done already, patent-search is such a drag.

Prediction: Someone will patent the idea of using real-life data and statistics from a sport or event to control players in a computer game. For instance, I believe there is a patent already on using a so called "ghost driver", which represents the player (in a racing-game) from an earlier session of the game, so he can compete against himself. However, I'm sure someone will go even further and claim ownership of statistics or some broad implementation of using it to control computer opponents. For instance, picture a game where you could take the role of some F1-driver in a specific race, and every one else would try and follow the same path as they did in the real event, sort of the action-genre version of classic war-games.
Made at: 2000-09-20
Current status: Pending
Comment: Is there prior art? (2003-02: I've read about a golf simulator which captured live data from a competition and allowed gamers to instantly try and beat the pros at every stroke)

Prediction: In the future, there'll be a large underground scene for swapping of electronic books.
Made at: 2000-08-07
Current status: 2003-02: We're getting there. P2P networks are full of books.
Comment: Not much to add on this one, I've known it for a year or so now.

Prediction: The existance of any one or more gods will never be evidenced.
Made at: 1999-12-08
Current status: Holding
Comment: Great start. I really don't see how I can lose this one. Some will argue that this prediction is fallacious, but those saying that don't have my magical perception and fantastic intelligence, now do they?

Prediction: Astrid Lindgren will die, recieving the Nobel Prize posthumously.
Made at: 1999-12-08
Current status: Not yet fulfilled
Comment: We'll know in a few years. I'm 100% certain to be at least 50% correct, which is a better guarantee than most prophets will give you. What did you say? They never give out prices posthumously? You just wait, mark my words.
Update 2003-02: Lindgren died 2002-01-28 at age 94, evidencing half of my prediction!

Prediction: Imbeciles will send me money as to escape their fate as horny leaf-frogs.
Made at: 1999-12-08
Current status: Confidential
Comment: You want this one to be fulfilled, trust me. Contact me for the address to put on that cheque!

Prediction: Creatonist leaders around the world will continue their clueless quest, but at some point they will redirect their fire from evolution to abiogenesis, in actual words.
Made at: 1999-12-25
Current status: Not yet fulfilled
Comment: Probably around the same time we - as a species - create a totally new lifeform. Sounds about ironic enough.

Prediction: The Wrong Song will win the next Eurovision Song Contest.
Made at: 2000-05-14
Current status: Awaiting fulfillment
Comment: Using highly advanced research methods I've been able to ascertain that indeed the Wrong Song will win all future contests, including a win in which the artist cannot even carry a tone.

That's it. I'll add more predictions as... well.. as soon as those magical invisible purple naturalistic fairies living on the surface of the sun send me some more of those cool mushrooms that makes my head like really clear and stuff.

If you believe one of my predictions have been fulfilled or - impossible as it might seem - failed, I'd appreciate it if you contacted me with the data.

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